I’m 38 years old and I want kids, but I still don’t know when I’ll even start trying to have them. I used to worry about this a lot – I still do honestly, but less now. Not because my desires have changed or because I feel more sure about my timeline, but because I’ve learned letting go of timelines you have little control over makes for a much happier life. And the anxiety isn’t getting you there any faster anyway.
Something that helps me feel less anxious about it is channeling that energy into habits that support fertility. A lot of these habits are things I do to support my gut and hormone health anyway (hint: they’re all connected) but it gives me an extra layer of motivation and peace of mind knowing my body will be as ready as possible when the time comes.
It’s honestly never too early to start thinking about your fertility because building that solid foundation does take time and you’ll be supporting a healthy gut, hormones and metabolism along the way!
These are the things I focus on and would recommend to anyone who wants to get pregnant in the next year or two (or more!)
Prioritizing nourishment (aka EATING ENOUGH)
Eating enough, like really enough, is one of the most important things to do for your fertility. Growi
ng a baby is a very energy and nutrient intensive process and your very smart body wants to know that you’ll have enough of both of those things to support it. Abundance of nutrients not only signals safety to your body but it also allows it to prioritize the reproductive system (which is one of the first things to get de-prioritized when nutrients and energy (aka calories) are limited.)
Recently, I realized that while I was eating 3 meals and a few snacks daily, I wasn’t always truly fueling myself enough. A few things that clued me into this were: slightly high TSH, more hair shedding than usual and low average BBT (basal body temperature). These are all related to slow thyroid function, often caused by under-nourishment. I was also frequently feeling hungrier at night (usually linked to under-eating during the day.)
I struggled with disordered eating throughout my 20s so I’m familiar with the signs of under-eating, even though they were more subtle this time. I don’t restrict my eating at all now and have a healthy relationship with food but when you’re busy and active it’s SO easy to accidentally eat less than your body needs to thrive, not just survive. I see this with my clients ALL the time and I believe a lot of women are in this boat.
Some of the shifts I made as someone who wasn’t dramatically under-eating but needed to boost my intake: eating a bigger breakfast and having more substantial snacks between meals (aka not just grabbing what’s quick and easy because I’m in a hurry or feeling lazy.)
The Takeaway: You need at the very minimum 3 meals + 1-2 snacks. Depending on your activity (or stress) level, you might need bigger meals or more snacks than you’re having now. You also need adequate amounts of ALL the food groups – eating high protein is great, but you need plenty of carbs, too!
Eating for balanced blood sugar
This is just as important for fertility as eating enough. I already do this because it’s also foundational for gut health, hormones, mood and makes a huge difference in my overall well-being.
If you’re new to the idea of balanced blood sugar, here’s the basics: dysregulated blood sugar is a stressor on the body and stress doesn’t not help with fertility. Things that contribute to blood sugar imbalance are: skipping meals or going long periods without eating, eating too many or too few carbohydrates, not pairing carbs with protein/fat/fiber, caffeine on an empty stomach, not eating enough calories.
Eating for balanced blood sugar looks like:
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- Starting the day with breakfast
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- 3 balanced meals with carbs, protein, fat and fiber
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- Snacks that combine carbs + protein
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- Eating every 3-5 hours
- Avoiding caffeine on an empty stomach (+ not over-doing caffeine intake)
Taking Care of Your Nervous System
Nervous system regulation is foundational for all aspects of health, fertility included. It plays a key role in both gut health and hormone health, both of which influence fertility, but also signals safety to the body which is a green light for reproduction.
Taking care of your nervous system isn’t always a straightforward task. It’s not just about going to yoga or meditating in the morning (although those can help.) In my experience, really nurturing your nervous system is also about slowing down, rushing less and auditing your biggest stressors. If you’re always booked and busy, it’s really hard to get out of fight or flight!
Some of the things that really help me are: a consistent yoga practice, mediation-adjacent things like tapping or activations, staying off my phone (especially first thing in the morning and before bed), allowing myself days that are just for relaxing (no work, no chores, nada!)
One of the more challenging things about nervous system work is you have to figure out what regulates you! That often requires a little trial and error and paying attention to how you feel. It also takes time and consistency, so don’t expect to feel wildly different after 1 week of yoga or a few days of auditing your phone use.
Limiting Exposure to Environmental Toxins (Within Reason)
We are exposed to so many chemicals and toxins in daily life, and while it’s impossible to avoid them all, reducing exposure is very helpful for both hormones and fertility. It would be nice if some of the known endocrine-disrupting chemicals were regulated and kept out of skincare, cleaning products, cookware, etc…but of course they are not (at least not in the U.S.)
I feel like this can be one of the more overwhelming health shifts people make because there’s so much to think about and it’s easy to feel fearful. Like I said, it’s impossible to avoid it all and you don’t have to change everything at once.
These are some of the swaps/shifts I’ve made over the years:
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- Clean skincare and makeup
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- Cookware: stainless steel, cast iron or ceramic
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- Limit plastic use (as much as possible) + no hot plastic!
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- Less synthetic clothing
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- Using natural cleaning products/detergents/etc
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- Avoiding synthetic fragrances
I’m definitely not perfect and I don’t stress about the things outside of my control. My next step is replacing my Nespresso because pouring hot liquid through aluminum every day is definitely not great. I’m not stressing about it, but it is a good excuse to finally get myself a nice espresso machine.
As you can imagine, the things you use daily matter more than the things you do every once in a while. I tend to think skincare is a good place to start because you’re literally absorbing it. If you need recommendations, you can find my minimalist routine and favorite brands here.
Testing (Conventional + Functional)
While I think there’s a bit of an over emphasis on testing right now, knowledge can also be empowering. There are many underlying things that impact fertility – such as gut and thyroid health – and checking on them well before you are ready to start trying gives you time to address anything that needs attention.
I’ve done a fair amount of lab tests over the past decade as part of healing my chronic gut issues, but if I hadn’t I would probably be doing a GI Map stool test to make sure I didn’t have any sneaky infections or imbalances. If I was trying and having trouble getting pregnant, this is definitely something I would do.
I like to keep tabs on my thyroid because it has a history of underfunctioning and that will definitely impact fertility. I recommend asking your doctor for a full thyroid panel (not just TSH) will give you a complete picture of thyroid function. While you’re at it, might as well do your standard yearly labs (CBC, Metabolic Panel and Lipid Panel).
Lastly, I recently ordered the Evvy Vaginal Microbiome Test. I haven’t gotten my results yet, so I don’t have much to share now but I’m very curious to find out. It not only gives you information about the diversity of your vaginal microbiome (just as important as your gut microbiome!) but it also can detect known fertility disruptors. I think this is a great resource for anyone getting ready for TTC or struggling to get pregnant. I’m probably being more proactive than necessary but a) I usually like to try things before I use them with clients and b) once I am ready for kids, I don’t want to waste time on pesky vaginal bacteria.
Cycle Tracking
Obviously, tracking your cycle is helpful when trying to get pregnant because you need to know when you are ovulating. However, I also thinking getting to know your cycle is an amazing tool for fertility prep and for women in general.
I’ve been tracking my cycle using Oura Ring and Natural Cycles for the past 3 years which makes it super easy. When I first started tracking my cycles were typically on the shorter side (25-26 days) with a shorter luteal phase. This can mean low progesterone (sometimes linked to high stress or cortisol levels) which could contribute to fertility struggles. This information has allowed me to make adjustments and now my cycles are usually closer to 28 days and my luteal phase is usually 14+ days which is better for fertility.
You can learn a lot about your body and hormones from tracking your cycle even if you aren’t thinking about fertility. It’s how I knew my BBT was low (mentioned above regarding thyroid and metabolic health) because measuring basal body temperature (BBT) is how cycle tracking works. Plus, if you’re already familiar with your cycle, it’s different phases and what’s normal for you, it’s going to be a lot less overwhelming when you start focusing in on it for your fertility journey.
If you don’t have an Oura ring, you can still use Natural Cycles using a thermometer or their custom wrist band to take your temperature every morning. It’s very worthwhile investment for fertility and hormone health. Use my link to get 20% off + a free NC band.
Taking Prenatals + Egg Quality Support
Last but not least, prenatals. Starting prenatals as early as a year before trying to get pregnant ensures adequate nutrient stores for both conception and pregnancy. Since I’m not currently on a timeline, I alternate between taking prenatals and beef liver. I also take an egg quality supplement intermittently because I figure my 38 year old eggs can use all the help they can get!
I highly recommend starting a prenatal (and a high quality Omega-3) at least 3 months before TTC. It takes 90 days for an egg to fully develop (so what you do 3 months before ovulation matters!) This is a good time to start an egg quality supplement, too, (if not sooner) especially in your late 30s and beyond.
Choosing the right prenatal is important and, as with all supplements, quality really does matter. I wouldn’t trust your grocery store prenatal to deliver the nutrients you need. There are a lot of good high quality options right now, one of the perks of there being more research and funding going towards women’s health (!!), but the one I recommend most frequently is Needed.
In addition to their prenatal (which also comes in a vanilla-flavored powder form if swallowing pills isn’t your thing), I’m also a fan of their Omega-3 and Egg Quality Support. They even have options for male fertility because let’s not forget that they are half of the equation, too! Use my dispensary link to get 20% off your first order.
This blog post was borrowed from my Substack – if you’re interested more posts like this + recipes and my thoughts on women’s wellness be sure to subscribe (it’s free!)
